ALITerAture

i want to buy ten books i ve been meaning to read. close the door to the world, and read them in my room one after another till its all good and done

i want to wake up on a late saturday morning to a sunny lazy day, with my man lying next to me, waitng for me to spoil him with breakfast in bed…with a lil sum’in sum’in more

i want to sit alone on a wet beach just as the morning sun arrive, and stay there till its warmth dries up the blotches of rain from the night before

i want to listen to the sounds of the earth, as i stand on a balcony that faces the crashing waves and the busy street below

i want to fall asleep to the stroking of his hand on my head, with the buzzing of the tv in a low whisper, lulling me into my own sweet silence

i want to capture every dimension of my little one, click away at the beautiful angles of its being, knowing that its innocence will always stay in me forever

i want to open up my heart to everyone i love, and let them see how deeply they are intertwined with my soul

i want to be able to look into my lovers eyes and see the end of us together, old and content in a camlness that only age and fullfilment can give

and lastly, i want to always want these untouchable wants for as long as i dont have them.

i want some of you. never wanted something like you but i do now. what do i have to give up to get a piece of you? wish it was plain and simple. wish it was up and front. but this secret, this desire thats growing, its too huge for everyone else to take. its too much for some to handle. it d be too much for us to face. for what it is, it would hurt someone and everyone. itd hurt me. itd hurt you. but i love to imagine. i ve picture it thousands of times. what it just might be, if there was a you and me. what happiness i know i could bring. what fullfilment youd give. itd be a fairytale. in a parallel world, where nobody knows us, i would go to you, you wouldnt have to find me. i would take your face in my hands, and smile upon your kiss. i would let you take my hand, and lead me to whatever end, so long as its with you that i still stand. what id give to announce to the world, what my heart says at every beat, of you and of the things, id want to share with you. i am belittled by your ways, by all that is around you. im no gem, no match to your one too many friends. but i long to be your stardust, that lights up your lonely nights. would you heed my call, i wonder. there is a little voice, it said you would have no choice. we both would give in, it said, we wouldnt be able to resist. but ill never know. ill never know. for there is a price to pay, for crossing such a line. it would ruin, so many years, so many memories, and all the love that has never been questioned. and so because of that, i remain. always, a few steps behind. seeing you from the back will keep me sated. far from content, but all the same sated. i will see you go far, drift away and back again. but dont ever disappear, dont be absent from my eyes. for that is all i have. that is all that ill alwas have. wont say i love you. wont say that i miss you. wont ask you of anything. just be present, and that will be enough.